I was listening to one of my favorite punk groups, The Violent Femmes. They have a song called “Kiss Off,” that is presumably about O.D.’ing. At one point the writer lists his grievances as he pops pills (presumably).
I take one one one cause you left me and
Two two two for my family and
3 3 3 for my heartache and
4 4 4 for my headaches and
5 5 5 for my lonely and
6 6 6 for my sorrow and
7 7 for no tomorrow and
8 8 I forget what 8 was for and
9 9 9 for a lost god and
10 10 10 10 for everything everything everything everything
–Violent Femmes, 1983
At the point in the song, the artist definitely has the WTF attitude. I am bobbing my head along to each of the lyrics. 1 1 1…2 2 2…blah blah…and then 9 9 9 for a lost god. And I make an odd mental connection. The song becomes the background music to Martin Luther nailing the 95 theses to the door of Wittenberg. I take one one one for indulgences…
Welcome to my brain. It is a disjointed mess of goo.
So I start thinking about what pisses me off about “the church.” (in the macro general sense…not a specific worshiping body)
I think wow, I wonder if I could come up with 95 beefs with the modern church. Snort! Yeah, I am Martin Luther…not! But I did rather quickly come up with a list of 10 things I hate about the 21st century church. For now it is just a list. If I am ambitious, I may blog on each topic. But for now it is just a list for the virtual door.
- Hell…the idea that anyone could deserve eternal punishment.
- Rapture…F’ off world, I am out of here!
- Devil…Really? There is a being that would rival an all powerful God.
- Politics…Jesus is not a republican
- Prosperity…I love you Joel Olstein
- When bad things happen to good people it is a test or because of unconfessed sin…man, I must be a real asshole.
- The doctrine of the Trinity…OMG could there be a more disjointed theological cluster fuck? Did anyone proof read this doctrine? I think they were smoking pot…so he is totally god and totally human…drag…like…like an egg
- The cannon should be reevaluated…Yeah, um Joshua…not a big fan. Leviticus really??? I am sooooo going to get stoned.
- Christianity is the only true religion…God is a trademarked entity of the Jesus corporations. All violators will be prosecuted and persecuted…void in Wisconsin…damn Lutherans.
- Mega churches…take 2 cups Jesus…some spotlights…an orchestra…some slick marketing…presto…salvation baby! See also #5
Interesting…there are dark clouds forming over my head.