Git Off My Lawn


Git Off My Lawn!!!

Yes, I am becoming that guy, the old man shaking his cane at the neighborhood kids for playing in his yard.  It hit me yesterday when I reread my own posting.  There is a core of white hot anger at my core that has to do with the way that organized religion #$@#%!! (made sweet love) to my brain.

I do not want to buy that guy.  In my small group we have been talking about heaven and hell and the idea that they are both so much a destination, but a state of mind.  You can live your life in either place…now.  I have been hanging out in hell for the last decade.  I am tired.  It is time to move on.

…easier said than done.  I have a lot of baggage that I need to jettison.  So today I am metaphorically saying goodbye to the following:

  • Hell
  • The Devil
  • The Rapture
  • “A Thief in the Night” & “Distant Thunder”
  • Us and them
  • Fire
  • Brimstone
  • Hate
  • Gossip
  • Afterglows
  • Tongues
  • Interpretation
  • Slain in the spirit
  • Jericho Marches
  • Laying hands on broken down cars
  • Hell Houses
  • demons
  • Demon Possession
  • The sins of makeup, cards, social dancing, mixed swimming, movies, darn, shoot, shucks and flip
  • Raising of hands
  • Alter Calls
  • Dramatic presentations of final judgment (where your friend and his mother are actors…spoiler alert…he goes to heaven and she goes to hell)
  • Revivals
  • Tent meetings
  • KFC buckets for offering
  • The word Fellowship
  • The spirits of rock, sex, alcoholism, anger & heaviness
  • Four Spiritual Laws
  • Sinners Prayer
  • End times timelines
  • The Anti Christ(s):  Henry Kissinger, Michael Jackson, Bill Clinton, Madonna
  • Backward masking
  • Stryper
  • The word Secular
  • Etcetera
  • Etcetera

Goodbye and good riddance.  Spleen vented…

Now on to happier topics…

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8 comments on “Git Off My Lawn

  1. Also saw laying hands on Newsweek, and the brethren. and the sistren. I like your list. I don’t want you to say goodbye to it by not blogging about it though! Just say goodbye, by not obsessing about it or something. Our denom was to Christianity, what tuna macaroni melt was to a potluck. You could choke it down, if forced, but there’s probably something else, somewhere, that is a bit less fishy, and a little more like–uh, let’s say*pie*.

    • Perhaps I should say I am letting go of the anger. The memories are still there. But I can look for the humor instead of getting all bent out of shape about it.

      Thanks for the comment!

  2. I think it’s time to get the good out of those things. They all have/had things to teach us, and are based on some truth. I think your upbringing (and mine) had a lot of “religion” and not a lot of “reality” to it; sometimes the form of a teaching becomes more important than the truth itself. I wish you well, but I think you’re in transition as you blogged about, and God will restore to you which of these are actually worth keeping 🙂

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