Warm


Whatever is has already been, and what will be has been before; and God will call the past to account…Ecclesiastes

I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth…Revelations 

All that you touch
All that you see
All that you taste
All you feel.
All that you love
All that you hate
All you distrust
All you save.
All that you give
All that you deal
All that you buy,
Beg, borrow or steal.
All you create
All you destroy
All that you do
All that you say.
All that you eat
And everyone you meet
All that you slight
And everyone you fight.
All that is now
All that is gone
All that’s to come
And everything under the sun is in tune
But the sun is eclipsed by the moon.
“there is no dark side of the moon really. matter of fact it’s all dark.”  ….Pink Floyd
  

I got to work at 7 this morning.  I was wearing short sleeves and no coat.  A warm breeze was blowing and I was not cold.  Not hot either, just a nice warm morning.  The weather is a metaphor for my mood.   

Lately I have been living the middle age cliché.  I know I am not going to write the great American novel.  I am not going to be an astronaut.  I am not going to find the cure for cancer.  I will likely spend another 20 years in middle management, retire and move to Boca.    Really it is not that grim.  It just feels that way sometimes. 

I read Ecclesiastes 3 this morning…the part about the seasons.  As I reflect, I realize that for the past 5 years I have been in a winter.  It started with a depression so deep, I could barely function.  I became a nasty person that attacked at the slightest provocation.  Then I got help.  Since then, the edge has been knocked off, but there is no real sense of joy either. 

My hope…and that is all any of us have…is that spring and summer will come again. 

Advertisements

One comment on “Warm

  1. what a great post – revelations, ecclesiaties and PINK FLOYD! Yes!

    seriously – i know this. i’ve been on the drugs that leave me numb. so numb, that i went off them without my doctors approval just to feel something again.

    i’m back on meds. different, more expensive meds – a Cadillac drug of sorts… at least i feel happy and sad again… but yeah, the winter thing is what it is – and even with the sun and green of the grass showing their faces in west michigan again…. i’m ready for some summer of my own.

    thanks for your honest words. i pray for your summer to return.

Comments encouraged!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s