Too big for their britches

We have the bomb. Why do we need to use diplomacy?

I am not firing on all my pistons today. One of my projects deployed to the web last night and I was at work till 12:30am. Then this morning we had “Donuts with Dads” this morning at 6:45. I know a lot of people who can function on just a couple hours sleep. I am not one of those people.

I sent my staff home to get some sleep. But alas, I must stay at work because my wife is giving piano lessons at home and Ethan has a play date. Chaos will ensue. I am better off wasting time at work. I have Nirvana blasting in my eardrums…life is good.

Odd things are happening in my life. I picked perhaps the worst time in the history of man to put my house on sale. We have had a grand total of 2 walkthroughs. And believe me, we are competitively priced. Strangely enough, the annoying neighbors are annoying me less. The boarders that were drinking beer every night in the neighbors yard are gone….I can only assume they got fired from their jobs and can no longer pay rent. Karma is a bitch.

In other news, Jenn has applied to be the music director at our church. It is just like my life. I wanted to go into the ministry and she gets the job. Oh well. It is probably best this way, since God is not returning my phone calls. I think I left too many desperate messages on his voice mail. Does this planet make my butt look big?

I apologize to everyone suffering the effects of drought. I told Jenn to dance naked in the front yard to bring the rain gods. But she has too many hang-ups to comply. Fine, but if people’s lawns dry out she is to blame.

I am terrible at waiting. But that seems to be the theme of my life this month. I want to know exactly when my house will sell and whether or not Jenn gets the job. Hmmmm…where is Simon and Simon when you need them. I sure hope I don’t have to marry Delta Burke. I don’t like decorating. Is there really a George Stephanopoulos or is he an imaginary friend of mine? Help me Snuffy!

So back to the bomb. When we bomb other countries doesn’t the price of gas go down? Maybe Iran is Evil. If we bomb Iran, my commuting costs will surely decrease. I want a flat screen TV. Let’s bomb China while we are at it. I like maple syrup. Let’s bomb Canada. That will show them who’s currency is more valuable. Who do I have to bomb to get a bedazzler?

Time to go to bed. Good night Gracie.

By Ben Posted in Life

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