Twink Roberts Lamptrash


At first glance, you might assume there are three people in my family. But ask my son and he will tell you there are four. Shortly after we first completed Paper Mario, my son started drawing and cutting out characters from the game. He played imaginary games with these cut out characters. It reminded me of kids playing with paper dolls. Anyway that was mostly just a phase, but then Ethan gravitated to one character in particular, Twink.

Twink may have started out as a Paper Mario character, but he has evolved since then. Twink is a round two inch diameter piece of paper colored yellow with a black or blue happy face. Ethan started carrying this piece of paper around with him everywhere he went. Twink has to be included in every activity the family has. During the day, while Ethan is at school, Twink is at star school. On Sunday, Twink goes to star church. At night Twink sleeps in his own room, in his own bed. (I find this interesting since Ethan still sleeps with us)

This has been going on for about 3 months now. Fairly early on the original Twink was completely worn out. Ethan took him out of his pocket and he was in tatters. He cried and cried until Jenn convinced him Twink could get a new body. Now about once or twice a day, Twink gets a new body.

One day while Jenn was cleaning she came across an old Twink. She tried to give it to Ethan. Ethan was outraged. “Mommy, that is no longer Twink.” Shortly after that, Jenn coined the word Twinksubstantiation. In Twinkology that is the moment the scissors close for the last time while cutting out a new Twink. From that moment on the essence of Twink is transferred from the old body to the new. Alternatively, I call it Twinkincarnation.

Twink also has a birthday. It is May 28th. This year Twink turns four. He wants a star cake.

Twink has a carseat.

Twink has a hat…and a spaceship. The spaceship plays music as he races around the kitchen, dinning room and living room.

When we were in Denver, Ethan convinced his cousin Donovan that Twink was real. Donovan is now a true believer.

Twink’s mother is Jenn, but his last name is Lamptrash. Jenn will not confess to her infidelity, but Twink does not lie.

Twink fell in the toilet once (Daddy forced a new Twinkincarnation).

Twink be with you. And also with you.

Amen

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By Ben Posted in Life

10 comments on “Twink Roberts Lamptrash

  1. I find it interesting that this started 3-4 months ago… right around the time Daniel and I moved out? Perhaps Ethan is trying for a little brother?

  2. I liked Twink be with you. Only a United Methodist would say “And Also With You.”

    Our current “Twink” is a dead caterpillar. It died 2 days ago; but my 3 year old is determined it’s sleeping. Being the youngest mommy and daddy don’t have the heart to throw it out. I guess in a little while it will be dust….

  3. I’d imagine that making paper dolls has got to beat changing diapers.

    Does your son lend any significance to the song “Twinkle Twinkle?” I mean, every imaginary friend deserves a theme song.

  4. Oh believe me Jon…I will take Twink any day over diapers! I don’t think he has made the connection, but you can bet I will be singing it the rest of the day…thanks alot. 🙂

  5. Judi made a similar suggestion. However if Twink were more durable I think he would get more attached to one particular Twink. Twink gets lost…a lot. Now he can whip out a new one in about 2 minutes. Reincarnation is a rapid process in Starland….I wonder…Is Twink a Cylon???

  6. “When the blazing sun is gone,
    When he nothing shines upon,
    Then you show your little light,
    Twinkle, twinkle, all the night.
    Twinkle, twinkle, little star,
    How I wonder what you are!

    Then the traveler in the dark
    Thanks you for your tiny spark;
    He could not see which way to go,
    If you did not twinkle so.
    Twinkle, twinkle, little star,
    How I wonder what you are!”

    Verses from the eighteenth century french folk song.

    It’s interesting to note that years before these lyrics where written, children across France sang different lyrics to a similar melody: “Ah! Vous dirai-je, Maman”…

    “Ah! Let me tell you, Mother,
    What’s the cause of my torment?
    Papa wants me to reason
    Like a grown-up.
    Me, I say that candy has
    Greater value than reason.”

    I would guess Twink and Ethan have long understood these things.

    😉

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