Lately, I have been in a really good mood. Though work has been a bear, the rest of my life has been chugging along. Two thing specifically has raise my spirits:
1.) Ethan is no longer allergic to dairy. When you consider that milk or whey are in almost everything we consume, it is a huge weight off of our shoulders. For the first time ever, we are able to all eat the same thing at dinner time.
2.) We can now manage Ethan’s system well enough that he can wear underwear. This is a huge Huge HUGE relief.
One thing remains to have the happiness Trifecta, my spiritual life. I have really been struggling with doubt. I am going to church, but that is about it. I occasionally read the bible, but I am not involved at my church on any level. I purposely avoid shaking the pastor’s hand because I know he will ask how it is going and I am a terrible liar.
I miss the feeling of transcendence. When I was in the Pentecostal church, every week I had some emotionally cathartic experience that recharged my batteries. Looking back, much of it was just emotional manipulation. But there was a sense that you were outside of the everyday and in another mode of consciousness. I hate being manipulated, but I miss the feeling that there is something bigger than me. I need the smells and bells to take me away from the mundane.
Oh well 2 outta 3 ain’t bad.