I have been really awful at keeping my blog up-to-date. Here are some random thoughts from the last couple of day.
Our church hired a consultant to come in and do a SWOT analysis. For those of you who have never done one of these, SWOT stands for Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities, and Threats. Basically it is a guided brainstorming session to access where your organization (in this case our church) is and where they are going. As I have said in the past, I am in a fairly unique situation at my current church. I enjoy church and I look forward to going. I have not always felt that way. Anyway, they were going through the litany of strengths and my mind started to drift. Never ask me to brainstorm. I cannot control my storm.
So I started reflecting on my life. I started doing my personal SWOT. I got through my strengths without much reflection. Then I got to my weaknesses. It really dawned on me that my life is at drift. I have put the ole brain in neutral. I know the source of this, it is stress.
I am pretty good at facing stressful situations head on. I do what I have to do and then â€œI move on.â€ But really that is a load of crap. I donâ€™t move on at all. I get through the stress and then I retreat from the world. I have come to the conclusion that for the most part, I have given up. I have stopped exercising. I have put on weight. I binge eat. I have stopped participating in church and life. I come home from work exhausted. I constantly watch TV or play video games. I go to bed and wake up exhausted again.
My first inclination was to run back to my doctor and ask for more drugs. But really that is the easy way out. I am not sure what I need to do yet, but I recognize that I cannot continue moving in the rut I have carved for myself. If things continue the way they are going, I will be dead before I am 45. I write this in the hope that if I donâ€™t get â€œwith it,â€ I will read this in a few weeks and feel guiltyâ€¦or one of you will beat me about the head and neck. Enough said.
I watched Galactica Friday night, while snacking. J I love the show, but they have taken a really political turn. I am an escapist when it comes to entertainment. The latest twists in the storyline are too close to reality. I donâ€™t need my science fiction to remind me how much our current political situation sucks. I already obsess over it.
It rained again this weekend. Which means for the second week in a row, we had to nix the whole Coxâ€™s farm thing. I would go in the rain, but I am worried that Ethan might catch a cold, which in our case always cascades out of control. I am having Jenn do anti-rain dances in the yard. I would describe the dance, but it is obscene.
Speaking of rain, I am up to her (I am gesturing behind the keyboard), with the reign of our current sovereign. Wake me in two years.
I have recently started listening to Cat Stevens, aka Ramsey Youssef. I am a bit confused. From his lyrics, I could see him becoming a monk. I donâ€™t see the Muslim connection. Anyway, I really like his stuff. Right now my favorite song is his version of Morning Has Broken.
I co led my first small group meeting on A Case for Faith. It has been a long time since I have led a group. I think I did OK, but I am not sure the group knew what to do with me. I have an odd style (can you imagine) and it takes some getting used to. My co leader has had this group alone for several years. I think they wanted me to just shut up and let him lead. But I think they will warm up to me in a few weeks. I just take getting used to.
Well enough of my ramblings. Peace out.