Fixing the Precious

Complete strangers have been really chatty recently.  I have had a number of people strike conversations up with me at Starbucks, Yum Yum Café, and Safeway.  I thought it was kinds of odd.  I mean it is not that I am rude, but I tend to keep to myself and the people around me do too.  That is until recently.  I could not for the life of me figure out what the heck was going on until yesterday at lunch I happened to glance at my hand at the same time some woman started talking to me.  Then it dawned on me; all these friendly people were women.


So as it turns out humidity and obesity do not mix well, at least for jewelry.  I cannot wear my wedding band until it get it “adjusted” (Supersized).  I was forced to wonder are these people hitting on me?  I can’t imagine why…I am in a fat and nasty state of my life.  But I could not come up with a plausible alternative.  I guess I must be a magnet for people with low self esteem (trust me, you can do better).  I think I will be visiting the jewelers this weekend and get my invisibility shield repaired.

By Ben Posted in Life

5 comments on “Fixing the Precious

  1. Thanks, Ben… you just added to my paranoia… I’ve not had my wedding ring for a while now, since we can’t afford to replace the stone. And come to think of it, all those “nice” people started coming up to me shortly after I stopped wearing it. And most of those “nice” people are also women. Are they hitting on >me<???? OMG!!!! You just two of my neuroses, my people paranoia AND my low self-esteem, because apparently, I'm "butch". Thanks a LOT!!!

  2. At least I can wear *my* invisibility shield, not that women-hitting-on-Brian has *ever* been a problem.

    Oh–and you’re not fat and nasty, Ben. Just nasty.


  3. Judi that just reminds me of the time Robin Miller and I went to see a movie at the Nick. There was a room full of women, but I was *not* the one being checked out.

  4. Well, you know the old saying…Wait. I can’t remember it. Something about the good ones are always taken or…was it take-out?

  5. I have never had the problem of anyone of any gender (there are three, right?) checking me out. Big, fat, sweaty and hairy just don’t seem to attract folks. Besides, I can’t get my ring off!

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