Breakfast of Champions

So, one of my coworkers is leaving the company to: “spend more time with her family.”  That is business speak for forced resignation.  They are having a going away breakfast for her later this morning.  This person tried to get me fired a few years back because I publicly disagreed with one of her initiatives.  She filed a complaint alleging I was creating a hostile work environment.  I was later cleared of the whole thing and she was reprimanded for stirring up the pot.  Actually that event, a couple of years back, may have been the beginning of her end.


Anyway I struggle with letting this all go.  At the time she was making my life miserable, I was smack in the middle of some rather unpleasant medical issues (if you read my blog at all, you know what I mean).  I was terrified that I might find myself unemployed and without medical insurance.  This is all in the past, but I have mostly steered clear of her since that time.


My dilemma is this: I am the leader of a staff of 7.  If I don’t go to this event, it will make a stink.  I hate the idea of being there and being insincere.  I want to “turn the other cheek.”  But if I am not *there* yet, isn’t it dishonest to pretend that all is well?  I want to be over this.  I have prayed about this.  I have prayed for her and her family.  But still I struggle with letting it go.


I am sure I will go.  The division is big enough that I should be able to hide in a corner.  But I wish I were a better person/Christian.  But and I am being honest here….I am just not quite that evolved.

By Ben Posted in Life

8 comments on “Breakfast of Champions

  1. Scene from *Fiddler on the Roof*: A guy says, “Rabbi, you say there is a prayer for everything, but is there even a prayer for the Czar?” The Rabbi says, “Yes, here it is. May the Lord bless and keep the Czar . . . far away from us.”

    Maybe that prayer will work in this instance too.

  2. I know how you feel. My boss, Ernst, made inappropriate comments to me, made more difficult to bear because he was a Christian. After years of listening to generally squirrelly comments, I finally spoke up. It was very hard to get over and get the respect back. And not tell anyone except the people most affected at work. Less than a year later, he was “reassigned” at client request. Usually there are more forces at work when someone comes against you.

    I guess I reached the point where I cared about him as a person, but he was a lousy boss. I wish him well.

  3. Just to clarify: Ernst’s comments, until the last one, were not directed to me. They just fell in that 3rd category: creating a hostile work environment. Ogling women in the building next door, etc.

  4. Attending a function like that is a matter of responsibility. You don’t have to want to, and you don’t have to be insincere in going. In this case, being there represents your responsibility to your role, not your support of the individual.
    In this, your actions are honest and true. In this, you are impecably human. So it seems to me. 🙂

  5. It was not as bad as I had anticipated. There were 50-60 people. In the end, I wished her well. She told me my family was in her thoughts. And that was it. She is no longer in my life and I really do wish her well. I do like the prayer from Fiddler on the Roof.

    Thanks for listening to my disfunction. I love my virtual couch.

  6. I was fired for standing up to usafe staffing practices. The official termination rational was “exessive absences”. I had called in sick one day beyond the alotted amount while my son was very ill. I worked per diem, did not receive benifits or sick pay. I had worked for that hospital for over 12 yrs with nothing but glowing evaluations. My staff always complimented me on how smoothly things went when I was in charge. But that was because I insisted on things, the administration deamed “not cost effective”, like another nurse to ensure safe patient care. Just after I was fired, my mom was diagnosed with lung cancer, my son was sick for several months, my dog died, and we’ve been challenged with an array of other life “adventures”. So, in the long run, it’s good that I’m not working. I’ve also learned that after my leaving that hospital, a patient died because my boss insisted the patient was stable enough to come to our unit with the staffing they had, though he wasn’t. The overworked nurse did not hear about the arrythmias he was having and they found him dead at the side of his bed. Part of me is glad I’m not fighting that battle anymore. Part of me feels if someone with the “tactless guts” I have were there at the time, maybe that patient would still be alive. It’s all in God’s hands after all …eh?

  7. Wow…now that is a conflict. Mine was a purely financial. She wanted to fund a program that I knew would fail. I think my exact words were, “I don’t think this is a wise use of company resources. We could do the work internally and do a much better job.”

    That was it. Pretty tactful coming from me. I am usually Mr. Foot in mouth. She got the project funded and went after me relentlessly. Three years later, the project went bust and we are doing what I initially suggested. I did manage to withold an, “I told you so.” I mostly keep a low profile now.

    Sorry to hear about your conflict. Hopefully it will all be for the best. That is what I tell myself, anyway.

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