Missed it by that much


My sister emailed me yesterday.  We were finalizing plans for her visit over Memorial Day.  She is coming out to attend a conference.  My mom and nephew are staying with us while she attends the conference and then she will join us after the conference concludes.  My dad was not going to come out, but I think my sister “guilted” him into coming at the last minute.

 

It is weird to me that people can live in the same house and yet be completely different people. 

 

Let me be perfectly clear, I think my dad is a great guy and he was a good father.  It is just weird to me that we never quite connected.  If we are in the same room, we can carry on a civil conversation and I like “running errands” with him.  But I see the way other fathers and sons relate and I know I do not have that with my dad. 

 

I feel like I have that connection with my own son.  We have things we like to do together.  We have inside jokes, hobbies and he comes to me with questions.  It is just weird to me that my father and I never had “that.”  I did, oddly enough, have \”that\” with my Granddad.

 

I have seen my dad interact with my cousins.  They have “it.”  They talk about cars, hunting, and sports.  I just sit there smile pleasantly. 

 

I would swear I was left on my doorstep by gypsies if it weren’t for my sister.  We are very much alike and she recalls first hand my mom being pregnant and me coming out of the hospital.  So a switch seems unlikely.

 

There is not really a point to this entry, just odd musings.  I do not resent my dad.  I am mostly ambivalent.  It is nice that he is coming.  We continue to try to build a relationship as adults.  Maybe someday we will get it right. 

 

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By Ben Posted in Life

3 comments on “Missed it by that much

  1. It sounds a lot like my relationship with my father. He was there, there just wasn’t a relationship. That lack of relationship continues to this day. One thing I have learned though from my father is how not to relate to my boys. I do everything possible to be involved. I don’t want to waste a minute. One other thing I have learned is God somehow provides that person to fill that role. My father in law is much more of a father to me. He is the one I can go to when I need to talk. He is the one that reaches out to let me know how much I mean to him. God answered my prayers when I prayed for a father in law that became more than that, I needed a father in law that was a father.

    Have a great one!

  2. Funny you should say that about your in-laws. In many ways I am closer to my wife’s family than my own. But since they occationally read my blog, I will stop short of saying anything too nice. 😉

  3. Oh excuse me!!! Ocassionally read!!! Just because I don’t comment, well sheesh…I still think you’re the bestest!!! I am honored to say I’m an in law or is that out law. Mom thinks your the best too.

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