I am so kool


I am butchering this quote, so forgive me.  Douglass Coupland wrote that the only things that separate us from the animals was that we smoke and lift weights, “…which is not too much considering how special we think we are.”

 

Another quote from a personal trainer at my gym (yes, I know…hard to believe), “If the doctor told me I only had 6 months to live and there was nothing I could do about it, I would start smoking again.”  Amen sister!!

 

It is funny.  I smoked a couple of cigarettes here and there in High School (except one time Kevin and I smoked cigars in my van and I inhaled…I was really sick that night…but that is another story).  I was not really hooked on cigarettes until I was in Bible College.  Yes, you heard me right.  Second semester of my sophomore year, one of my friends, Vince, got me to pick up the habit.  I smoked 7-8 cigarettes a day until I almost got kicked out of school.  Then I smoked all summer.  I continued to smoke off and on until I met my wife.  Then I was pretty much done.

 

Here is the strange thing.  I miss the habit.  I actually like smoking.  If I did not know for certain that it would kill me, I would take it up again.

 

They just opened a cigar shop in my building complex.  I still cannot stand the smell of cigars from the “van” experience.  But I am tempted by their assortment of pipes.  Three things are keeping me on the straight and narrow. 

 

A)    1) it would kill me

B)     2) my wife would kill me

C)   3)  I could not pull off the pipe smoker “look”…did I mention my wife would kill me?

 

Hopefully at the end of my life I will be given a six month warning so I can enjoy myself.

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By Ben Posted in Life

4 comments on “I am so kool

  1. You can drink your cash away at Starbucks & feel the same economic effects, rather than watch it go up in smoke.

    Just ask Judi.

    BzJC

  2. The “z” in my initials was a typo. And it makes my name look like a chemical made by Dupont. Can’t go wrong with that.

    BJC

  3. I have a friend that his dad worked out and ate properly and was a general health nut until he turned 65. Then he started doing things like having twinkies for breakfast with a beer chaser. He said that he had made it as far as he wanted to, and was going to go out having a good time.

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