I am convinced that if I did not have a wife and family, I would be rather dull. Jenn and Ethan are still in California. I am still at work. I got here at 6 this morningâ€¦it is 6:37 now. And I am not even upset about it. I like working. It drives me crazy sometimes, but it is fun being the undisputed expert on a silly obscure little software product.
I have had 3 career aspirations in my life. None of them have anything to do with my life now.
I wanted to be a pastor/missionary. But I was never serious enough about my faith.
I wanted to be a comedian. But I always knew people who were much funnier than me.
I wanted to own a used record store. Not much market for that now.
But what I have now is good. My life is partly cloudy with patches of sunshine. I am never as happy as I was in my twenties, but I am never as depressed as I was in my twenties. I sometimes envy people who have a calling or talent. But I am comfortable in my own skin. I am used to my shortcomings.
I sometimes wonder in my Prozac bathed brain, would it be worth being really depressed to have one more crazy carefree night? Probably not.