Blame this entry on Brian.


He wrote a blog on things that make him happy.  I wrote that being married is one of the things I am happy about.  I had heard that parents of a disabled child are more likely to divorce. I looked it up.  It is 87%.  I was thinking maybe 60%, but 87%!!!

I am the luckiest bastard alive.  Not because Jenn and I have somehow toughed it out, but because we are actually happy.  Here me on this:  I am more happy now, then when I first got married.

So while I was responding to Brian’s blog, Jenn and my “song” came on the radio.

It is “The Luckiest” by Ben Folds…Here ya go.


The Luckiest

I don\’t get many things
right the first time
in fact, I am told that a lot
now I know all the wrong turns —
the stumbles and falls brought me here

and where was I before the day
that I first saw your lovely face
now I see it everyday
and I know

that I am, I am
I am the luckiest

what if I\’d been born
fifty years before you
in a house
on the street where you lived
maybe I\’d be outside
as you passed on your bike,
would I know?

and in a wide sea of eyes
I see one pair that I recognize
and I know

that I am, I am
I am the luckiest

I love you more than I have
ever found a way to say to you

next door there\’s an old man
who lived into his nineties
and one day passed away in his sleep
and his wife, she stayed
for a couple of days and passed away

I\’m sorry I know that\’s a
strange way to tell you
that I know we belong
that I know

that I am, I am
I am the luckiest

You may now throw up.


By Ben Posted in Life

7 comments on “Blame this entry on Brian.

  1. It is encouraging that someone has a great marriage. I would classify mine as good, not great, good. It used to be great, but well certain things happened, and we both made some bad choices, and then it got to where it sucked. We have worked back up to good. But honestly, I am not sure that it can ever be great again. So I would say, be careful, take care, invest the time it takes (and it takes alot), keep talking, especially when it is hard, beware things that damage your trust, and don’t let others get in between you, don’t ever even hint that walking out is a possibility, let alone actually going somewhere else. That is easier said then done. But watch for it. Interferences will come disguised as help, or loved ones, important things, innocent enough on the surface, but when you start listening to them over the your mate, or investing your time and energy into them and excluding your mate, the gap between you will widen fast, and you will find once that happens that trust begins to slip away. Fast. Then all of a sudden it is easier to live without them than with them and things you never thought you would do or say are everyday occurences. It’s hard to make it back from that.

    I will continue to pray for you, it is a hard road, I am glad that you have a great person to go with you.

  2. Hmmmmmmm, blaming Brian, that might work, hehehe.

    I applaud you and Jenn, Ben. I have heard that marriages suffer in situations like yours, but like you I didn’t know it was 87%! WOW!! After hearing that you get a Standing Ovation!

    I also echo the Scared Kitty’s statement about trust. In the past I damaged the trust Kim had in me and it has been a long road (as well as it should be) to gain even a part of it back.

  3. Great post. I agree with everything said above (except the blame Brian thing…).

    Great song. Just discovered it in a couple weeks ago & I must agree, it expresses my feelings for Judi as well.

    Ya big pinhead–you’re gonna make me get all teary at work…


  4. Ben…I couldn’t be happier for you and Jenn. Special relationships that we can look to for inspiration are rare. In response to other responses, I would say I agree…the bottom line is MARRIAGE IS HARD. But what’s so cool about it, even when trust HAS been violated, if there is a willingness of both hearts to forgive themselves and their spouse, it can actually be BETTER than the “GREAT” that existed before. I speak from experience. My husband is my dream come true…but to say that he was always that…or that he even had EVER been that would be an enormous exaggeration. Thank God for his miracles and his grace!

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