Over the weekend I finished reading â€œTuesdays with Morrie.â€ I donâ€™t want to spoil the ending, but Morrie dies. Go figure?!
Two things really jumped out at me in this book: ending well and detachment.
Ending wellâ€¦wow, that hit me right between the eyes. I was thinking as I was reading this book that while death is the final end (on earth at least), we are constantly closing chapters in our life and it is important to end well. I am not sure I do this well.
When I am coming to the end of a relationship I either try to deny the end (drift away) or burn my bridges. I recently had a friend move away to Richmond. He had numerous going away parties and I had countless opportunities to say a formal goodbye and tell him what he meant to me. But I am always afraid of being too sentimental so I said nothing except, â€œI will miss having lunch with you.â€ Boy that was a real tear jerker. I guess I assumed that there was always email and IM. Why bother telling him that his friendship meant a lot to me? But the truth is I think the real message I conveyed was â€œI really donâ€™t care.â€ As a result, I have not heard a peep from him since he left and my emails are not responded to.
The second theme that really caught my attention was the concept of detachment. Now by detachment he did not mean being emotionally detached. Rather when we feel a powerful emotion, we should try and recognize it, experience it, and then let it go. This is especially useful for negative emotions.
So often when I am pissed off, I try to ignore it. I ignore and ignore and ignore. Then at some inappropriate moment, when I am under stress, I erupt on the closest target. The person I end up going off on may have had the most minor offense, but I go nuclear because I havenâ€™t dealt will all the pent up crap. Morrieâ€™s point seemed to be that when something happens, recognize it (hey this is really upsetting me), deal with it and then let it go.
So if you are reading this now, GO TO HELL (ending well) AND YOU ARE REALLY PISSING ME OFF! There, I feel better (detachment).
More to comeâ€¦