Things to ponder from Mom\’s basement.


From the Whittenburg Door:

Jedi Religion in 2,000 Years

In the 2001 Australian national census, 70,509 people marked “Jedi” as their religion.  In New Zealand, it was 53,715.  As this budding religion makes its way to the world, what struggles does it face in 2000 years?

Many Jedi will recognize the old Jedi Testament consisting of New Hope, Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi as the only real scripture.  Others will insist that the New Jedi Testament, consisting of Phantom Menace, Attack of the Clones, and Reenge of the Sith, is just as valid.

In an area called Qumran II (formerly known as Skywalker Ranch), a young goat herder will discover a video called the Star Wars Holiday Special about the holiday season with Chewbacca and his family.  Featured in the film are Harvey Korman, Bea Arthur, Harrison Ford, James Earl Jones, and Jefferson Starship.

Aurguments break out as to the authenticity of the work and its validity as Jedi scripture.

Some Jedi are not granted the rank of Master because they condone the practice of slavery (They use Anakin and his mother as examples of how Lucas condoned slavery.)  These split into a new group known as as the Southern Jedi Convention.

A group known as the Yoda Seminar will meet to vote on what Yoda actually did or did not say.

A senator, whose name will be Palpatine, Pressler, or Patterson, will

Many will argue whether or not the King Lucas Version is the only true version of scripture.

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By Ben Posted in Life

2 comments on “Things to ponder from Mom\’s basement.

  1. The only rival to this religion will be a sect called Trekkies. And while the two religions hold many similarities they are different.

    This sect will spend most of its energies going door to door with it’s special revelations of the Shatner and his teachings of Tribbles. However, even with in this religion there are sects or spin offs of the oringinal, devoted to teachings of either Picard, Janeway or Sisco. All of whom were contemparies, but held different views of the Shatner.

    In later years there will arise later a sect devoted to the teachings of Archer who preceeded the Shatner. They are small in number but fiercesly devoted to thier version of this enterprise.

    All of these look to the coming of the Great Nimoy as the one who will set all things right. Yet, many will turn from the Trekkie way and turn to a faith known as the Ring when an old recording is found of the Great Nimoy singing the Ballad of Bilbo Baggins.

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