Left behind


Turns out, I am a theologian and a political prognosticator as well.  I always thought I was just a smart-ass who pulls things out of my butt.  But as it turns out, some people actually take me seriously.

Having attained this new status, I now feel that I must share other heretical thoughts.

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but Dick Cheney is the anti-Christ.  I have proof and I will be making charts and timelines for distribution during my Winnebago national tour.  Ethan will be my opener.  He will sing “The Lord’s Army” while soiling on a picture of a liberal. (it is very moving)

Yes it turns out that my personal hero, Dick Cheney, is mentioned twice in the same chapter of Revelations 13.  13! A booga booga booga. Although I am not sure how he is concealing his 666s on that big fat bald head of his.  Truly my heart is broken.

So here is my proof:

Revelation 13:3

“One of the heads of the beast seemed to have had a fatal wound, but the fatal wound had been healed. The whole world was astonished and followed the beast.”

Can you say 3 heart attacks?

Second…Revelation 13:12a

“He exercised all the authority of the first beast on his behalf, and made the earth and its inhabitants worship the first beast…”

George Bush is our friend…George Bush is our friend…

For more information on this and other posting in my blog, please pick up this weeks addition of the Weekly World News.

BTW…the Raiders are agents of darkness.

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By Ben Posted in Life

2 comments on “Left behind

  1. That’s the beauty of the thing. Revelation is so precise, so relevant, that if Bob Saget isn’t actually the Beast (and he is, mind you…) you can pick your own!

    BJC

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