The accidental bulimic


Bulimia:  An eating disorder characterized by episodic binge eating….it is often associated with measures taken to prevent weight gain, such as self-induced vomiting, the use of laxatives, dieting, or fasting. Also called bulimarexia , bulimia

 

I have a nickname at work.  It could come in handy if I am ever embroiled in scandal and have to resort to selling used cars, Big Guy.  Hey Big Guy, how’s it going.

 

Translation:  Hey fat guy I acknowledge your existence.

 

My wife has a plan to solve this.  She is force feeding me fiber.  She buys massive amounts of shredded wheat and triscuits.  The end result (pun intended) I am as loose as a goose.  I think she thinks that if I am constantly pooing I will loose weight.  So far…it just makes for some nervous meetings at work… \”oh please God, please end this meeting.\”

 

So by my calculation we are a Bulimia team.  I take care of the bingeing part; she cleans me out with natural “laxatives.”  I wonder if this is an Olympic Team sport.

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By Ben Posted in Life

3 comments on “The accidental bulimic

  1. She’d get better results chasing you around the block with a frying pan several times a day.

    Put some cheese on those triscuits, they taste better and the cheese counter-acts the triscuit affect. I’ve never tried cheese on shredded wheat, but I don’t mind recommending it to you to try.
    You’ve got a lot of money and time invested in the fat, you don’t want to throw it down the drain you know.

  2. You know I have that problem all ready and I don’t eat Shredded Wheat or Triscuts. And cheese has never ummmm slowed me down. The “blow outs” as I like to call them are just a normal part of my life, you will get used to it, hehehe

  3. Hey Tim.

    Yuck.

    As long as “blow outs” aren’t more frequent due to food/water/gravy/moonshine in NW Arkansas.

    BJC

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